Brussels Sprouts at Dawn

She suggested vegetarian at ten paces, so I wrestled a carrot out of the ground to ward off her swinging brussels sprout stalks, I was unprepared for the swede, a tricky manoeuvre which shelled peas couldn't appease; celeriac for coeliac, barley for the rest, we settled down to cornbread and beer; her mother said it would end badly, but we didn't care.

by Anon.