Farewell the Carnival

Botero 'El circo según'

The cops came and closed the carnival

so I tied back my hair and packed a bag.
Not one for long embraces, too easily
 filled with careless sentiments,

I said goodbye to the lion, 
the camel and the elephants.

With soft footsteps I passed the carousel, 
where ghosts now rode motionless horses,

while the gypsy woman wept in her trailer.

The clown was peaceful at last, 
propped up and snoring against the tent
his makeup smeared, sorrows drowned, a life spent.

With my bag over a shoulder, I didn't look back
as I headed out onto the road,
leaving behind much more than I was owed.

When you awoke, naked in your beauty, 
I was long since gone. Did you shed any tears?

Was it love? I was never going to stay.

As my back began to ache
 and the blisters on my heels burst,
I sat down on the roadside, amongst 
the weeds, dirt and discarded beer cans.
 Meanwhile the distance stretched on, 
leading to where? I had no clue. 

And then an image of you, 
smiling back at me, 
and I recalled, how your eyebrows rose 
when you laughed, the small hollow 
at the bottom of your spine.
You never once asked me to stay.

The next fair beckons, yet another trailer, 
another lover's charms.
But it is I that is weeping. 

For the calls are empty and meaningless, 
compared to laying in your arms,
compared to kissing you.

© the dishonest woman